I got a cat

She is... just a cat.

I got a cat. It's not a funny cat, a grumpy cat, a heart-warming disabled cat, or an adorably cute cat. She's just a normal gray tiger domestic short-haired cat. She's eight years old and came from a Humane Society shelter. I found her picture online with a description and then my husband and I drove there to meet her. She was sleeping in a cat bed in a plastic crate in a somewhat large "cattery" with other similarly set up crates, miscellaneous cat trees, and a lot of other cats. She responded well to us when we pet her, but swatted at an errant kitten who came by to get some attention from us, too. Due to her age, she's not incredibly frisky, but she is reasonably affectionate - or at least as much so as cats tend to get.

Before getting this cat, I talked about it on Facebook because it wasn't a simple process for me. We had lived in apartments for the last 30 years and they did not permit pets so there was a sequence of actions we needed to take including getting an addendum to our rent contract and paying an additional deposit. We also had to prepare by buying necessities (food, litter, litter box) before bringing her home. As I talked about these processes with people, I could feel a push from each of them to "join" a society of people whose lives were overly preoccupied with cats and it made me uncomfortable.

Me: "We're getting a cat!"
Them: 'Get two!'
Me: "Our lease only gave us permission for one cat."

Me: "We've got a cat!"
Them: 'I hope she becomes to you what our dog, who is the center of our very existence and we post pictures of everyday, is to us!'

Me: "I'm going to train the cat."
Them: 'Ha, ha, cats will do whatever they want and train you!"

Me: "I've had many cats before never just one so I'm afraid that she'll get lonely or bored, but, the shelter explicitly asked if we had other pets because she doesn't like other cats.."
Them: 'Get another cat like her... one that is like two ships passing in the night, but they don't interact much!"

So, the message repeatedly has been not only that the cat will take over my life, but I will be better off for having her do so and that I should start my full conversion to "cat person."  I am supposed to be joining this society of people whose identity revolves around their pet ownership, but I can't do it. What is more, I don't want to do it, and don't like the pressure people put on me to convert or dive more deeply into cat ownership via getting more cats or presenting her as my master.

I want to remain the person I was pre-cat who is defined by my character and my actions, not my ownership of anything. I don't want to submerge myself into an identity that is attached to a mortal creature or paint myself as being a servant to the will of an animal governed largely by instinct. I co-habitate with her and care for her, because her presence adds a quality to life and my presence adds something to hers - largely, not having to put up with other cats and getting more individual attention.

There was a time when people owned cats because they served a utilitarian purpose. They killed rodents, controlled some insects, and provided companionship when needed with the least amount of oversight. A cat was just a cat, not a totem of identity or a club that you belonged to which said something about you as a person. I think that was a time when people possessed identities which were more related to other people rather than to their own little world that they bought and built around them. The idea that one becomes a "cat person" upon possession of a cat is a sign of our times. These are times when identity is shallow and defined by that which we surround ourselves, not by that which we do with and for others, and which is inside of ourselves.